The Epidural Obsession

Now that I am really huge, my belly solicits unwanted advice at every turn.

The hot topic recently has been the Epidural.

Every woman I meet will tell me that I will need one.

Don’t even think of passing up the opportunity to get pain medication.

Request it, scream for it, beg for it.

Women don’t get medals for natural childbirth.

You get the same baby in the end.

Why suffer if you don’t need to?

How strange our society is that religion and politics are taboo subjects, but intimate moments of your life, like childbirth, are regarded as subjects that should be discussed and debated in public forums.

The epidural debate is the hottest topic among the ladies in my office lately.

The 23 year old never-been-kissed-virgin assures me that the epidural is the only way to go. Her mom told her so. She also assures me that my husband must owe me big time because I’m letting him use my uterus free-of-charge. I suppose I could tell her that I wanted this baby as much, if not more, than he did, but what’s the harm in letting her feel sorry for me?

The old-enough-to-be-my-mother in the cubicle next door emphasizes that almost NOBODY goes natural anymore. Why feel pain if you don’t have to? Also, childbirth classes are a waste of time because the baby is coming whether you are prepared are not. Don’t worry, the doctors know what to do.

The sweet-as-pie fundraiser mom has had three children. She had two natural births and one epidural. She assumed that she had suffered enough with the first two births and at her age, she deserved a break. Sounds logical…except she went on to say that the epidural made her vomit for the duration of her labor. Sounds like fun to me.

So, the ladies in my office are trying so very hard to help me by influencing my decisions with their fierce debates. It must be incredibly frustrating to them that I am unwilling to share my birth plan with them. They are dying to know my intentions. And I’m not sharing.

P.S. we’re NOT getting the epidural.