STRESS!!!

What a day!

I’ve been looking forward to this day for over a month, but it is not turning out to be as wonderful as I had hoped it would be.

Today is our first OB appointment.
We might get an ultrasound today.
I can’t wait to meet our baby!

I imagined that we would go to work, normal day, anguishing over how slowly time would pass as we wait for our 3:30pm appointment.
We would go get the ultrasound, meet our baby, share a tearful moment, and then spend the rest of the day immersed in love.
I was hoping for dinner at Hunan Garden to celebrate, maybe a movie, then lots of cuddling and groping.

What a wonderful imagination I have.

This is how the day is going so far. Please keep in mind, it is not yet noon.

Chris is on-call this week.
He got a service call last night and left the house at 5:30pm.
He got home at 9:30pm.
We got Chinese food for dinner at 10:00pm.
Chris got another service call at 1:00am.
He didn’t have to go.
Chris got another service call at 3:30am.
He did have to leave.

The service call was in Painesville.
We had torrential rain last night.
Euclid was flooded.
Eastlake was flooded.
Mentor was flooded.
Painesville was flooded.
Perry was flooded.
Madison was flooded.
The freeways were closed and many of the roads through Mentor were closed, too.
I have no idea how he got to Painesville.

The service call in Painesville was at a nursing home.
One of the nurses mentioned that her husband had just been evacuated from their house on Circle Drive because it was flooded.
Chris’ mother lives on Circle Drive.

Chris stopped at his mother’s house at 5:30am to make sure everyone was alright.
The entire circle was flooded, except for 10 houses on one end of the street.
Chris’ mom and family was fine.

Chris called me at 5:30am to tell me about the flooding.
Thanks, now I’m awake.
Again.

So the morning started a little earlier than I prefer.

Then, my boss invites me to a 9:00am staff meeting, and she has donuts.
As a rule of thumb, any Friday morning meeting that includes donuts means your boss is about to share some bad news.
And since I heard her on the phone yesterday tell a friend “I’m not sure that I still have a job”, you can only imagine how much I was looking forward to this meeting.

The news is this:

Our department is being reorganized.
We are currently part of a non-profit hospital.
Our department will be a for-profit subsidiary.
We have a new director, and he is bringing 6 employees with him from Florida.
Our current executive director and his secretary are being moved out of the executive administration offices.
Our current executive director will no longer report directly to the CEO.
The new director wants to see our resumes, so we need to have them ready by Tuesday of next week.
He wants to know where we all fit into the new organization.
If we do.

So, my boss reassures us at this point that we all have jobs.
Wonderful news.
BUT…
There is not enough space in our current building to add the new employees.
We will be moving to Independence at the end of the year.

That’s all fine and dandy, but there are several problems with that.
I currently have a 15 minute commute, and Chris and I carpool in his company van.
That means our current gas expenses for commuting are $0.
The new commute would have me driving our van 45 minutes each way every day, at $3 for a gallon of gas.
Not to mention, that I would need to leave the house at 7:00am and I wouldn’t get home until 6:00pm.
That’s assuming no traffic jams.
And I have to pass through Downtown Cleveland.
So, bet on traffic jams.

This is a problem.
Our babysitter only works 7:00am to 5:30pm.
We can’t let Chris pick up the baby from daycare because he only has two seats in his van, both of which have airbags.
If my baby’s head were severed by an airbag, I would not be able to forgive myself.
So, I need to pick up the baby in my van, but I won’t get there in time.

The commute schedule doesn’t work.
The commute expense doesn’t work.

My boss has offered to waive the 12 month waiting period to allow me to apply for other jobs internally. She is fantastic!

The dilemma is this:

Do I tell my manager about my pregnancy now?
Or do I wait until I find a new job?
If they know I need maternity leave in February, will it make it harder to find a job?
I only have about a month before I start showing, and I don’t know if I could find a job that quickly.

What should I do????

Nine Weeks

Baby Ticker

Week Nine

How your baby's growing: Your new resident is nearly an inch long — barely the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce, but he's poised for rapid weight gain now that his basic physical structure is in place. He's also starting to look more and more human. His embryonic "tail" is now completely gone and his body parts — including organs, muscles, and nerves — are kicking into gear.

His eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. He has earlobes, and by week's end, the inner workings of his ears will be complete. His upper lip is fully formed, too, and his mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The tips of his fingers are slightly enlarged where his touch pads are developing. All major joints — his shoulders, elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles — are working, enabling your baby to move his limbs. As for his heart, it has divided into four chambers now, and the valves have started to develop. External sex organs are there, but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks.

How your life's changing: You still may not look pregnant , but emotionally you may feel like you're on a roller coaster ride. Mood swings are common now; it's perfectly normal to feel alternately elated and terrified about becoming a parent. This feeling can persist throughout your pregnancy and well after your baby's born. Try to cut yourself some slack. Almost all expectant parents worry about how a new baby will change their lives, but the vast majority later say that becoming a parent was one of the best things they've ever done.

You may be feeling extra gassy or bloated now, too. That's primarily because the major doses of progesterone your body produces early in pregnancy relax smooth muscle tissue throughout your body, and that includes your gastrointestinal tract. This relaxation slows your digestive processes, which can cause more gas, bloating, burping, flatulence, and generally miserable sensations in your gut, especially after a big meal.

Dawn’s Notes:

Gas. Bloating.

Am I showing, or am I just constipated today?

How I've Changed... And How I Haven't

As I journey towards motherhood, I’ve noticed some subtle changes in my own character.

I’m more likely to put my foot down and defend my opinion.
Especially with the ex-wife and my nemesis at work.
In-laws are next in line for this treatment.

I’m terrified of reckless drivers and I’m more likely to honk and scream obscenities at them.
Just for the record, the world is filled with reckless drivers.

I feel guilty for eating fast food.

I feel guilty for whining about my queasy stomach all the time.

I plan to exploit my condition at every opportunity.
I will skip to the front of the restroom line.
I will drink my soda in the department store that displays the sign that says
“No food or beverage”
I will eat the last peanut, fried dumpling, or cookie.

I’m sure there are many more changes to come.

Look out world, Motherhood is a monster!!