How I've Changed... And How I Haven't

As I journey towards motherhood, I’ve noticed some subtle changes in my own character.

I’m more likely to put my foot down and defend my opinion.
Especially with the ex-wife and my nemesis at work.
In-laws are next in line for this treatment.

I’m terrified of reckless drivers and I’m more likely to honk and scream obscenities at them.
Just for the record, the world is filled with reckless drivers.

I feel guilty for eating fast food.

I feel guilty for whining about my queasy stomach all the time.

I plan to exploit my condition at every opportunity.
I will skip to the front of the restroom line.
I will drink my soda in the department store that displays the sign that says
“No food or beverage”
I will eat the last peanut, fried dumpling, or cookie.

I’m sure there are many more changes to come.

Look out world, Motherhood is a monster!!